July 14th, 2010

mind.constipation

It has been like…zillion years ago since I wrote my last post here. Not that I have not had anything to say, I have been having a lot of things in my mind, may be a bit too much…and the thing is: I think my MIND got CONSTIPATED. I could not get these things out of my mind. Everything I do feels so wrong. Everything I do could not express what I think.

I don’t like my own cooking.

I don’t like my photographs.

I don’t like my design.

I don’t like my…things

Just not good enough. Everything I do. Just not what I have in mind.

Ugh.

And then I got to this point where I could not see any point of letting it out. And it has been 2 months. 2 long months.

This week: We have just returned from a whole month in Jakarta trip, Jakarta is a stressing city for me, Charlie made a mess of our house. I cleaned like a crazy lady for the whole week, and suddenly I did not like anything here anymore, so I started moving the furniture around like mad hatter. Turning our house into one big mess.

.

.

.

This morning.

I woke up at 6. Marco was still sleeping. It started to rain slowly. I made coffee in my kitchen. Turned on my computer. Charlie sleeping on the blue cushion next to me.

And the world just seems…quite right.

Yes.

I took some photos.

It is just a beginning. It is just me. It might not look nice. But it is okay.

I want to take more.

Sloooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy….

Filed under: anything+everything, life